“It’s very fulfilling to bring a child who is having issues, problems, into a home where they can be nurtured and we can just see their growth and development,” Boyce said in explaining how he and his wife have managed over the years.
“You just have to hang in there,” Jackie said. “You don’t give up on your own children! We don’t give up on these kids.”
Jackie admits she had second thoughts when she met her first foster son.
“But then I said, “You know what? He’s a kid.’ So we decided to give it a shot. You could see there was warmth there. He has a sense of humor and he really is a sweet kid.”
The young man does sign language, “when he wants to,” Jackie said, but he understands quite a bit. “We can give him one or two directives on a good day; on a bad day, six to 10,” she said with a laugh.
Once when he was 17, the couple were faltering under the strain and they did not think they could keep him in their home. As she told the story of seeing him at the county mental health complex, Jackie broke down. “We knew he didn’t fit in that type of environment,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. Within a week, he was back home with her and Boyce.
“He just had to see we’re here to help him,” Boyce said. “And to know he was here to stay, that he wasn’t going anywhere,” Jackie added.
As with their current foster son, Jackie and Boyce stress the need for maintining a relationship with biological families and respecting them. The first young man looks forward to his visits with his mother and his sister every weekend.
“These kids are already angry and upset by being here with you,” Jackie said. “You need to make sure they understand, ‘I’m here to help you, but you have a mom and dad to go back to.’ Our job is to help them with the next step, whether that’s reunification or aging out, to become productive citizens.”
Jackie chuckles when she tells how she made the foster teenager in her home cast a ballot in the recent election. He wanted to hang out with a relative who can be a bad influence on him, but she said, “That is not an option! You are going to vote!.”
At the polling place, Jackie gleefully announced “He’s a first time voter!” and “then he puffed up.” She photographed the young man, and when he finally put his ballot into the slot, he turned to her and said, “Man, that felt good!”
Boyce took him to get a state ID card and a bank account. The young man sings in their church choir, which Boyce said also gives him self-esteem.
“There are so many things out there pulling on him,” Jackie said. “We need to show him there is someone who cares about him and can help him understand there is a right way and a wrong way and to question, ‘Which path are you going to choose?’ ” Jackie said.
To handle the stress and strain in their own lives, the couple rely on their faith. Boyce is an associate pastor at their church, and they attend regularly. Jackie works out and gets massages.
They also said St. Aemilian-Lakeside is a real plus for them. “ We can call and talk to people. All along the way we’ve had that support, and we know they are always there for us,” Jackie said. The St. Aemilian-Lakeside training classes help them handle challenges with the young men in their home and they like the opportunities the agency gives them to interact with other foster families.
Strong supporters of foster care, the couple have a sign on their lawn encouraging others to “Grow Hope. Become a foster parent.” Jackie is working on a friend whose daughter is going off to college and who has room for a foster child. Boyce is promoting foster parenting at church.
“With all the challenges young people have these days and the environments they come from, it’s important for others to help them stabilize their lives,” Jackie said. “If I can make a difference putting time in and love, and they’re not out there robbing people, we can become part of the solution.”
Please encourage your friends and family to consider becoming a foster parent. For more information, have them call, toll free, 855-GROW HOPE. Couple’s compassionate care helps challenged foster children thrive
When Jackie Byrd-Harris and her husband, Boyce Harris, signed on to be treatment foster parents, they had no idea what they were getting into.
The first child they took in, when he was 14 in 2006, is autistic, nonverbal and would run out the door, up the street and into traffic. It took four to six hours to get him to go onto a bus and into school. He is a large teenager, he appeared aggressive, and people were afraid of him.
Respite providers would take him only once, and a group home also refused to let him return. For a year, a crisis worker had to come to the home every day because it was so difficult to get the boy out of the house. Area police and MUTT teams are very familiar with him because of his flight habits.
That young man, now 20, is still with the couple. They have become licensed as continuing care providers, which means he did not have to be institutionalized when he reached 18 and aged out of foster care, and he will be in their care for as long as he lives. Even with the challenges, the couple have been able to take in two other treatment foster kids who have changed significantly while under their compassionate care. Their current foster son turned 18 this year, and the plan is to help him transition to independent living before his 19th birthday.
“It’s very fulfilling to bring a child who is having issues, problems, into a home where they can be nurtured and we can just see their growth and development,” Boyce said in explaining how he and his wife have managed over the years.
“You just have to hang in there,” Jackie said. “You don’t give up on your own children! We don’t give up on these kids.”
Jackie admits she had second thoughts when she met her first foster son.
“But then I said, “You know what? He’s a kid.’ So we decided to give it a shot. You could see there was warmth there. He has a sense of humor and he really is a sweet kid.”
The young man does sign language, “when he wants to,” Jackie said, but he understands quite a bit. “We can give him one or two directives on a good day; on a bad day, six to 10,” she said with a laugh.
Once when he was 17, the couple were faltering under the strain and they did not think they could keep him in their home. As she told the story of seeing him at the county mental health complex, Jackie broke down. “We knew he didn’t fit in that type of environment,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. Within a week, he was back home with her and Boyce.
“He just had to see we’re here to help him,” Boyce said. “And to know he was here to stay, that he wasn’t going anywhere,” Jackie added.
As with their current foster son, Jackie and Boyce stress the need for maintining a relationship with biological families and respecting them. The first young man looks forward to his visits with his mother and his sister every weekend.
“These kids are already angry and upset by being here with you,” Jackie said. “You need to make sure they understand, ‘I’m here to help you, but you have a mom and dad to go back to.’ Our job is to help them with the next step, whether that’s reunification or aging out, to become productive citizens.”
Jackie chuckles when she tells how she made the foster teenager in her home cast a ballot in the recent election. He wanted to hang out with a relative who can be a bad influence on him, but she said, “That is not an option! You are going to vote!.”
At the polling place, Jackie gleefully announced “He’s a first time voter!” and “then he puffed up.” She photographed the young man, and when he finally put his ballot into the slot, he turned to her and said, “Man, that felt good!”
Boyce took him to get a state ID card and a bank account. The young man sings in their church choir, which Boyce said also gives him self-esteem.
“There are so many things out there pulling on him,” Jackie said. “We need to show him there is someone who cares about him and can help him understand there is a right way and a wrong way and to question, ‘Which path are you going to choose?’ ” Jackie said.
To handle the stress and strain in their own lives, the couple rely on their faith. Boyce is an associate pastor at their church, and they attend regularly. Jackie works out and gets massages.
They also said St. Aemilian-Lakeside is a real plus for them. “ We can call and talk to people. All along the way we’ve had that support, and we know they are always there for us,” Jackie said. The St. Aemilian-Lakeside training classes help them handle challenges with the young men in their home and they like the opportunities the agency gives them to interact with other foster families.
Strong supporters of foster care, the couple have a sign on their lawn encouraging others to “Grow Hope. Become a foster parent.” Jackie is working on a friend whose daughter is going off to college and who has room for a foster child. Boyce is promoting foster parenting at church.
“With all the challenges young people have these days and the environments they come from, it’s important for others to help them stabilize their lives,” Jackie said. “If I can make a difference putting time in and love, and they’re not out there robbing people, we can become part of the solution.”
Please encourage your friends and family to consider becoming a foster parent. For more information, have them call, toll free, 855-GROW HOPE.
“It’s very fulfilling to bring a child who is having issues, problems, into a home where they can be nurtured and we can just see their growth and development,” Boyce said in explaining how he and his wife have managed over the years.
“You just have to hang in there,” Jackie said. “You don’t give up on your own children! We don’t give up on these kids.”
Jackie admits she had second thoughts when she met her first foster son.
“But then I said, “You know what? He’s a kid.’ So we decided to give it a shot. You could see there was warmth there. He has a sense of humor and he really is a sweet kid.”
The young man does sign language, “when he wants to,” Jackie said, but he understands quite a bit. “We can give him one or two directives on a good day; on a bad day, six to 10,” she said with a laugh.
Once when he was 17, the couple were faltering under the strain and they did not think they could keep him in their home. As she told the story of seeing him at the county mental health complex, Jackie broke down. “We knew he didn’t fit in that type of environment,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. Within a week, he was back home with her and Boyce.
“He just had to see we’re here to help him,” Boyce said. “And to know he was here to stay, that he wasn’t going anywhere,” Jackie added.
As with their current foster son, Jackie and Boyce stress the need for maintining a relationship with biological families and respecting them. The first young man looks forward to his visits with his mother and his sister every weekend.
“These kids are already angry and upset by being here with you,” Jackie said. “You need to make sure they understand, ‘I’m here to help you, but you have a mom and dad to go back to.’ Our job is to help them with the next step, whether that’s reunification or aging out, to become productive citizens.”
Jackie chuckles when she tells how she made the foster teenager in her home cast a ballot in the recent election. He wanted to hang out with a relative who can be a bad influence on him, but she said, “That is not an option! You are going to vote!.”
At the polling place, Jackie gleefully announced “He’s a first time voter!” and “then he puffed up.” She photographed the young man, and when he finally put his ballot into the slot, he turned to her and said, “Man, that felt good!”
Boyce took him to get a state ID card and a bank account. The young man sings in their church choir, which Boyce said also gives him self-esteem.
“There are so many things out there pulling on him,” Jackie said. “We need to show him there is someone who cares about him and can help him understand there is a right way and a wrong way and to question, ‘Which path are you going to choose?’ ” Jackie said.
To handle the stress and strain in their own lives, the couple rely on their faith. Boyce is an associate pastor at their church, and they attend regularly. Jackie works out and gets massages.
They also said St. Aemilian-Lakeside is a real plus for them. “ We can call and talk to people. All along the way we’ve had that support, and we know they are always there for us,” Jackie said. The St. Aemilian-Lakeside training classes help them handle challenges with the young men in their home and they like the opportunities the agency gives them to interact with other foster families.
Strong supporters of foster care, the couple have a sign on their lawn encouraging others to “Grow Hope. Become a foster parent.” Jackie is working on a friend whose daughter is going off to college and who has room for a foster child. Boyce is promoting foster parenting at church.
“With all the challenges young people have these days and the environments they come from, it’s important for others to help them stabilize their lives,” Jackie said. “If I can make a difference putting time in and love, and they’re not out there robbing people, we can become part of the solution.”
Please encourage your friends and family to consider becoming a foster parent. For more information, have them call, toll free, 855-GROW HOPE. Couple’s compassionate care helps challenged foster children thrive
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