Independent Living Services client moves on with ‘shield’

Josh Bailey says the strong feeling of security he now has is like a shield. “Bad things bounce off and I get through, over the hurdles.”

Josh says he gained that sense of security through 18 months in SAL’s Independent Living Services program.

“I love you guys,” he told ILS Supervisor Jane Ottow recently at a celebration honoring his successful “graduation.” “Even during rough times, when I was falling off a little bit, someone was always there for me.”

Josh entered ILS a veteran of rough times. A former foster child who had lived in multiple foster homes before aging out at 18, he had years couch-surfing with friends who would give him a temporary place to stay. The winter before finding ILS he ended up homeless, living on the streets. Then after being featured in a documentary on LGBT homeless youth, “Out of Respect,” by Tess Gallun, he connected with Jane, who brought him into ILS.

He started out in the Youth Moving On program, then moved to Youth Transitioning to Adulthood. Because of his lifelong wish to help others, he was named a house parent in the Wells Street apartment house where ILS houses some of its young clients.

“It was like my calling,” Josh said. “I felt like I had a place in the world.”

The case management services and the caring he received through ILS provided him with “a family that I’ve never had. I could call any time, not just when I needed something, but to work out a thought, or if I felt stressed out… It was great not having to please people just to have place to stay!”

Josh says his time with ILS was not always easy. “I used to have nuclear breakdowns. I’d shut down and there was no way to get above water; I was constantly drowning. But they helped me see there was light at the end of the tunnel.”

How did they do that? “By their confidence in me and their reassurance that even through the dark times things will be OK … I learned to let things roll off, to settle myself down.”

He laughs when he talks about Christine Woods, one of his caseworkers. She practiced her signature form of tough love on Josh. “She won’t let me get away with nothin’!” he said. “But she grew on me. I still call her Mama.” She hates the name, which prompts Josh to use it even more.

Josh says he’s doing really well now. He has a full-time job. He was enrolled, but he failed a class at MATC – “It was my fault,” he quickly adds, and he is determined to return. His dream job is to work in public relations /marketing for a non-profit such as SAL. And there’s a good chance that, if he completes his education, he will make it.

Josh has a lot of media and communications experience. In addition to speaking engagements tied to the documentary he appeared in, he did an Oprah radio interview on the film, radio interviews for SAL about ILS and was interviewed twice by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel about the documentary and being a homeless LGBT youth. He also spoke about his life experiences and his work with ILS at SAL’s last golf outing.

He is living with his partner of five years in a nice, two-story rental home with four bedrooms and hopes that one day he can foster and eventually adopt children.

Josh spoke of a recent difficulty he had around the death of his grandfather. At first he feared the emotionalism would bring on another meltdown. But he got through it and felt secure, he said, because of what he learned in ILS.

“Everything has happened just as it should; sometimes I just can’t believe it,” Josh said. “I am a success already, and it took a long time for me to find it inside. But I didn’t do it myself. I did it with the help of St. Aemilian’s.”

“This is the guts of the matter,” Jane said. “Being at home with himself means he will never be homeless again.”

Adoptive parents went from no children to six

When Ron and Carol Erickson became licensed as foster parents in 2002, it was with the clear understanding that the children would be returned to their birth families. Since then, when crises repeatedly arose, they have opened their homes, and their hearts, to six children. They ended up adopting all of them, all of whom are siblings to each other in some way.

Half brothers Austin and Trey were their first two foster placements. Fully expecting them to eventually be reunified, it turned out there was no one else to take them. “And we had fallen in love with them,” Carol said. “They were our family and it would have been devastating to lose them…. We went from no children to two.”

Austin was 16 months old and weighed 15 pounds when the Ericksons got him. He has ADHD and ODD and struggles with learning and social connections. Through training in and reading about trauma informed care, the Ericksons understand that many of Austin’s issues are from his past trauma. Carol will sit with him and hug him and rub his back to get to the lower brain, where his acting out behavior starts. And she reminds her other children to be patient with him because his past trauma affects his behavior, and will his entire life.

The next set of children was Katrina, Abigail and Gabriel, all siblings, who were 3 and 2 years old, and 11 months, respectively, when they went to the Ericksons. They were contacted at the same time about the siblings or a single girl who needed temporary placement. By then the two boys were older and Carol was surprised when her husband agreed to take three small children.

“But we know how hard it is to place siblings… It was the best decision Ron and I made to take the sibling group.”

After six months, the girls were placed for a time with their paternal grandparents. When a paternity test a few months later showed they all had the same father, Gabriel joined them. The children suffered behavioral and health issues, and the separation from each other, and Dad’s rejection of Gabriel were very difficult for them. For various reasons, the grandparents were not a good placement, and the Ericksons heard about it “through the grape vine.” Carol called the case worker and learned the grandmother had said she wanted the children out immediately. When asked if they could come back to the Ericksons, “Bring them today!” Carol said.

It took about a year and a half for the termination of parental rights to occur, with the birth mother wanting them back for a time, and the birth father as well – but only the girls. Visits with birth parents were involved, but eventually the birth mother and the birth father disappeared. The back and forth and uncertainty was very hard on the kids and the Ericksons, and the couple were ecstatic to finally be able to adopt all three in 2011.

When they heard the birth mother of the three children got pregnant again with a man neither she nor her children were supposed to have contact with, the Ericksons stepped up again. When they were called about the last baby, named Rogue, they didn’t hesitate to take her in. No one knew drugs were an issue with the birth mom, but the baby was born addicted. She spent two and a half weeks in withdrawal in the NICU, and Carol was with her as much as possible.

“I was so nervous; I was scared to death,” Carol said. But at the hospital she was able to bathe, feed and bond with the baby. “It just made sense; why would you have them place her somewhere else?” Carol said.

After awhile the birth mom disappeared again, and the birth dad said he wanted the baby. But there were sexual assault allegations pending against him. Charges would be dropped, re-filings were expected then never made. Finally the judge said the case had to go forward. He scheduled a TPR hearing for the father, but the man died suddenly shortly before that, and the Ericksons were able to adopt Rogue – whom her siblings nicknamed “Mouse.”

“You’re holding your breath until the final day,” Carol said, “and deep down we feared we would never get her…. It was so joyous and peaceful when we finally learned she would be ours.”

Mouse is 2½ now, and she has bonded with not only her siblings but the other children as well, especially Trey. She loves to put her arms around his neck and hang on tight.

“Our lives were in limbo for so long, and now we can go on with our lives,” Carol said. The family will soon move to a farm in Green Lake County.

“It’s very chaotic, but you can’t imagine your life without them. Even if one had been lost, it would’ve been such a hole in our lives, such a loss.

“Now ALL the children know this is where they will be taken care of. They are all with their sisters and brothers, and they’re all in the same house. No more questions, no more visits, no one is going anywhere.

“They’re so excited about their brand new start to life.”

Extended family keeps a family together

Rick and Beth Dunnum with Nolan and Nyah

If you had asked Beth Dunnum 13 months ago if she wanted another baby, she would have said a resounding “No!” And this is despite her 8-year-old son, Nolan’s, repeated Christmas wish for a baby brother or sister.

Then the biological mother of her in-laws’ two adopted daughters had another baby. Because Larry and Roxanne Taylor also had an adopted boy, a biological son and older, grown children, they couldn’t adopt the baby. But they could foster. Roxanne, who is the sister of Beth’s husband, Rick, invited Beth to visit at her Pewaukee home when Nyah was two days old.

“I can’t take an infant,” Beth thought when she met Nyah. After she held her in her arms for about two seconds, she decided, “I can’t NOT take her!”

Dayna Berger

The Dunnums, who live in Appleton, got licensed as foster parents through Outagamie County and took all the necessary steps toward adoption. They frequently cared for Nyah for extended periods over the past year. And on Adoption Day, Nov. 16, they became her legal parents — and the siblings/cousins, big, happy extended family was created.

“This is a fabulous story!” presiding Children’s Court Judge Joe Donald told the Taylors and Dunnums – and all their various children – when he granted the adoption. “It’s always wonderful when families can be held together like this.”

The ongoing case manager for Nyah, IFS’s Dayna Berger, and all the adults hugged each other and wept as the children scurried around the courtroom and played with huge heart-shaped helium balloons.

“This is the end of one journey and the beginning of the next,” Beth said. “It seemed like a long 13 months, and now we can all breath a sigh of relief.”

Roxanne and Larry Taylor

Dana said she knew all along the Dunnums would be excellent parents for Nyah and that she was thrilled to play a role in making the adoption official.

Simi, 6, is aware that heir new cousin is also her sister, but Gabby, 2, is not. But it seemed to make no difference to her, Beth said, and when the families visit —which is frequent — the girls just rush to be together, Beth said.

And Roxanne is extremely happy to be around for all the gatherings, she said, adding that another miracle grew out of the adoption saga. When she took the necessary physical to adopt Gabby, she found she had colon cancer. It was caught early and after surgery, her health is just fine.

All everyone could conclude at the Children’s Courthouse was that life truly is good. “And we are all so happy!”

Jobs turn lives around for former foster kids

Linda Patrick, Glen Raven and Keisha Brown

It’s pretty amazing what a job can mean to a former foster child.

“Both did a 180 since they got their jobs,” Jane Ottow, supervisor of Independent Living Services, said about two young women who have acquired full-time employment at Genco ATC. She said they’re now more confident, enthusiastic and have a sense of independence and accomplishment.

The jobs came courtesy of Glen Raven, a St. Aemilian-Lakeside board member who is vice president of operations at Genco, a product-return facility. Genco has a commitment to the community and can provide entry-level jobs with an opportunity to advance within the company, Glen said.

But don’t think for a minute that Linda Patrick and Keisha Brown, the ILS youth, were simply handed the jobs. They had to earn them like everyone else.

When Glen joined the board, he was asked about possibly providing jobs for ILS youth, who often face serious challenges transitioning to adulthood. Six ILS clients toured Genco last fall and returned for job interviews. Linda and Keisha were selected. They underwent a pre-employment process that included drug and background checks, a physical and reference checks.

“We wanted them to experience the entire pre-employment process,” Glen said. “And a good fit is really important. Our teammates (Genco’s name for employees) have to want to be here, to have a comfort level, to want to get to know the environment. They actually interviewed us, and we like that!”

Glen said most of the ILS clients not chosen had other job goals. “Even if they were not chosen, it was good preparation for other opportunities.”

The two young women work under the supervision of Tiffany Wright. And they have grown and thrived.

Keisha never had a full-time job before, and this one is like family, she said. Tiffany works hard to create that atmosphere, with pot lucks, raffles and daily stand-up meetings to enhance communication.

“They’re real supportive and caring,” said Linda, who had only one full-time job before. “I just really appreciate this job. It’s laid back and yet you learn different things.”

“We’re looking for career- minded individuals who are committed to the opportunities to move up in other departments,” said Linda Reuth, director of Teammate Services. Tiffany takes the time with teammates, so if they need additional coaching, she will help them continue their growth.”

It’s not just work-related things, Keisha said. “If I have a problem outside of work, Tiffany’s a person you can talk to for awhile.”

Tiffany, who started seven years ago in an entry-level job, said she sees herself in the two young women. They jumped right on board, she said. “When they needed help, they weren’t shy about asking for it. Everyone just bonded.”

Pahoua Thau, teammate recruiter, worked with ILS, providing feedback on the youths’ attendance and job performance. Everything was good.

“I just thank God for these four (Glen, Linda, Tiffany, Pahoua) every night,” Keisha said.

Jane expressed her deep gratitude for what Glen and Genco are doing. A second group of ILS young adults has visited and interviewed, and Glen said jobs will be awarded once there are openings.

“This just shows you what a good collaboration can do to benefit our youth, who so badly need trust in their abilities and a willingness to give them a chance,” Jane said. “It’s an extreme gift for us, and we hope other companies will follow.”

Couple’s compassionate care helps challenged foster children thrive

When Jackie Byrd-Harris and her husband, Boyce Harris, signed on to be treatment foster parents, they had no idea what they were getting into.

The first child they took in, when he was 14 in 2006, is autistic, nonverbal and would run out the door, up the street and into traffic. It took four to six hours to get him to go onto a bus and into school. He is a large teenager, he appeared aggressive, and people were afraid of him.

Respite providers would take him only once, and a group home also refused to let him return. For a year, a crisis worker had to come to the home every day because it was so difficult to get the boy out of the house. Area police and MUTT teams are very familiar with him because of his flight habits.

That young man, now 20, is still with the couple. They have become licensed as continuing care providers, which means he did not have to be institutionalized when he reached 18 and aged out of foster care, and he will be in their care for as long as he lives. Even with the challenges, the couple have been able to take in two other treatment foster kids who have changed significantly while under their compassionate care. Their current foster son turned 18 this year, and the plan is to help him transition to independent living before his 19th birthday.

“It’s very fulfilling to bring a child who is having issues, problems, into a home where they can be nurtured and we can just see their growth and development,” Boyce said in explaining how he and his wife have managed over the years.

“You just have to hang in there,” Jackie said. “You don’t give up on your own children! We don’t give up on these kids.”

Jackie admits she had second thoughts when she met her first foster son.

“But then I said, “You know what? He’s a kid.’ So we decided to give it a shot. You could see there was warmth there. He has a sense of humor and he really is a sweet kid.”

The young man does sign language, “when he wants to,” Jackie said, but he understands quite a bit. “We can give him one or two directives on a good day; on a bad day, six to 10,” she said with a laugh.

Once when he was 17, the couple were faltering under the strain and they did not think they could keep him in their home. As she told the story of seeing him at the county mental health complex, Jackie broke down. “We knew he didn’t fit in that type of environment,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. Within a week, he was back home with her and Boyce.

“He just had to see we’re here to help him,” Boyce said. “And to know he was here to stay, that he wasn’t going anywhere,” Jackie added.

As with their current foster son, Jackie and Boyce stress the need for maintining a relationship with biological families and respecting them. The first young man looks forward to his visits with his mother and his sister every weekend.

“These kids are already angry and upset by being here with you,” Jackie said. “You need to make sure they understand, ‘I’m here to help you, but you have a mom and dad to go back to.’ Our job is to help them with the next step, whether that’s reunification or aging out, to become productive citizens.”

Jackie chuckles when she tells how she made the foster teenager in her home cast a ballot in the recent election. He wanted to hang out with a relative who can be a bad influence on him, but she said, “That is not an option! You are going to vote!.”

At the polling place, Jackie gleefully announced “He’s a first time voter!” and “then he puffed up.” She photographed the young man, and when he finally put his ballot into the slot, he turned to her and said, “Man, that felt good!”

Boyce took him to get a state ID card and a bank account. The young man sings in their church choir, which Boyce said also gives him self-esteem.

“There are so many things out there pulling on him,” Jackie said. “We need to show him there is someone who cares about him and can help him understand there is a right way and a wrong way and to question, ‘Which path are you going to choose?’ ” Jackie said.

To handle the stress and strain in their own lives, the couple rely on their faith. Boyce is an associate pastor at their church, and they attend regularly. Jackie works out and gets massages.

They also said St. Aemilian-Lakeside is a real plus for them. “ We can call and talk to people. All along the way we’ve had that support, and we know they are always there for us,” Jackie said. The St. Aemilian-Lakeside training classes help them handle challenges with the young men in their home and they like the opportunities the agency gives them to interact with other foster families.

Strong supporters of foster care, the couple have a sign on their lawn encouraging others to “Grow Hope. Become a foster parent.” Jackie is working on a friend whose daughter is going off to college and who has room for a foster child. Boyce is promoting foster parenting at church.

“With all the challenges young people have these days and the environments they come from, it’s important for others to help them stabilize their lives,” Jackie said. “If I can make a difference putting time in and love, and they’re not out there robbing people, we can become part of the solution.”

Please encourage your friends and family to consider becoming a foster parent. For more information, have them call, toll free, 855-GROW HOPE.

New occupational therapist finds healing through play

Ron Klemp, St. Aemilian-Lakeside’s new occupational therapist, gets to run around and play a lot on the job. But it’s all with a purpose.

“I’m providing the boys with the tools they can use while they are here and when they leave, so they can function better and stay on track,” he said. “We look for the tools that can enhance self-regulation. And hopefully along the way it’s fun!”

Occupational Therapist, Ron KlempRon works with all 37 boys in the agency’s residential program and soon will begin working in the homes of treatment foster families. When he is not doing evaluations and assessments of children’s needs, consulting with staff and therapists on treatment plans and goals, much of his time is focused on the rhythmic and repetitive (R and R) activities that calm the lower brain and create behavior regulation.

On a recent afternoon, that involved rhythmically tossing bean bags around with a group, running in large circles and doing push-ups and yoga poses. The goal was to get the boys’ “engines” running at just the right level, not too high or too low. They gauged their feelings before and after the exercises.

“It’s not bad if they say they are high or low; feelings are just feelings,” Ron said. “We want them to be able to identify their own feelings and energy levels and to find out what activities get them to just right.”

Ron’s work focuses on giving the kids understanding and control of their own behavior.

“When they begin to have that, they can see that their emotions don’t have to be the driving force,” he said. “They can see that, ‘I can influence the situation and I can influence myself.’”

Each boy who enters the residential program gets an OT assessment from Ron, the first full-time occupational therapist the agency has had in recent years. He then develops R and R activities that can be carried out by unit staff.  Along the way, he provides feedback to treatment teams and to families at the time of discharge on what works best for each boy.

Ron particularly likes St. Aemilian-Lakeside’s team approach and working within the framework of trauma informed care and the neurosequential model of therapeutics that are practiced here.

“I like the vision this place has, and I really like how the framework provides a way to target therapy for each individual kid,” he said. “And I really like developing relationships and trust.”

From its development, occupational therapy has been geared toward doing what is necessary to gain meaning from life, and that fits perfectly into St. Aemilian-Lakeside’s sixth of the Seven Essential Ingredients to understanding and implementing trauma informed care: finding a child’s reason for being, Ron said. Ingredients four and five, the role the lower brain plays in recovery from traumatic experiences and the importance of relationships, are part of Ron’s everyday routine.

“He’s a great addition to the team,” said Chris Kangas, a child and family therapist at St. Aemilian-Lakeside who collaborates with Ron. “He is becoming the personification of the whole TIC and NMT approach. He can role-model, actually facilitate and coach those lower- brain activities to help improve our programming.”

Ron started at St. Aemilian-Lakeside in January. Before that, he worked for three years at the Milwaukee County Mental Health Complex doing OT on adult and children in-patient units. He graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee in 2003 with a bachelor’s degree in occupational therapy, but he has worked in some kind of a behavioral health setting for 12 years.

Reflecting on the term occupational therapy, Ron said a child’s “occupation” is being a student, a participant in sports or other activities, or being a son or a daughter.

“I try to find the building blocks to support those ‘occupations,’ so they can have improved relationships and function better. And they need to know when they leave here there are ways they can be OK – and hopefully happier.”

One of Ron’s greatest joys is seeing progress in a child with whom he is working.

“When I see success in a child, it brings a wide smile to my face and it makes me want to yell out, ‘Awesome! ‘That is so cool!’ “

Ron’s hiring dovetails with a national movement sponsored by the American Occupational Therapy Association to recognize OTs as mental health providers, not merely rehabilitation practitioners.

“OT should be valued as a mental health modality,” said Ann Leinfelder Grove, vice president for Strategy and Innovation. “We have seen wonderful success with the sensory work provided through OT, and seeing that April is OT month, let’s all give acknowledgment to Ron for his dedication to finding hope and healing for the children we serve.”

Therapist finds ways to keep boy successfully in school

Scott is a 10 year old who is quite intelligent but who has had real difficulties regulating his emotions. The tiniest things can set him off, causing him to throw himself on the floor and let out piercing screams.

A fourth grader in an elementary school in Washington County, Scott has been working with Adrianne Walschinski, a child and family therapist with St. Aemilian-Lakeside’s School Based Services. The program provides therapeutic services in 40 schools in Ozaukee, Washington and Milwaukee Counties, helping kids like Scott who have emotional and behavioral difficulties. Therapists work in the schools with staff and meet with families in their homes to help children heal and to avoid more restrictive, and costly, mental health settings. Referrals come through the schools.

Although Adrianne has been working with Scott for more than a year, she recently did an assessment with what is called the neurosequential model of therapeutics, or NMT. This inventive therapeutic approach, which is based in neuroscience, assesses current functioning and produces a brain map that identifies a child’s strengths and deficiencies and recommends interventions to change behavior. Within a week everyone involved in Scott’s life saw a dramatic change.

“He is making remarkable progress, and I’m pretty excited about it; his teacher said he is doing really, really well,” Adrianne said. “His parents are also very excited and happy to see so much progress in such a short amount of a time.”

Adrianne started by doing a sensory checklist with Scott to identify activities he might like that are known to calm and soothe the lower-brain activity that spurs acting out and to regulate behavior. The rhythmic and repetitive activities included rocking in a rocker, running, going for a walk, and bouncing a ball.

Scott begins his day in a special education classroom before school starts to check in with his teacher and do a regulating activity before he goes to a regular classroom. Once there, if he feels uncomfortable or on the verge of an emotional meltdown, Scott will hold up a note card indicating he wants to return to the special ed room. That classroom has fewer children and offers a better setting for the activities he needs to calm himself.

Adrianne works with Scott’s special education teacher and school principal, teaching them about NMT and how they can help the boy promote self-regulation and strengthen the relationships that also are critical to success. Adrianne comes to the school once a week to support them in implementing successful strategies.

The goal is to have Scott engage in necessary activities multiple times a day so that he can stay regulated. The school has committed to doing a regulating activity with Scott every 30 minutes.

“Part of our role as therapists in a school setting is to create a perspective shift for the teachers, so they are not just reacting to behaviors but rather being proactive,” Adrianne said. “These kids are not being defiant, they are not choosing to misbehave; our job is to be detectives and figure out why.

“When teachers have an open mind to this new approach to therapy and are willing to work with us, we can make good progress ….  Schools look to us to do the things they are not able to do, and we can be the bridge between school and home.”

Scott likes all the activities and recognizes when he is having good days. Adrianne hopes that Scott will be able to transition back to a regular class and progress through school with his peers.

“He can’t be an 18-year-old and have the meltdowns he’s been having,” Adrianne said. “He’s very sociable, he’s funny and he is very smart. He just really struggles. He’s definitely a work in progress, but it’s nice to see the great progress he is now making. Now I feel there is hope.”

To learn more about the School Based Services program, click here: http://www.st-al.org/services/school-based-services/

A team that never gave up brings success to troubled child

Imagine adopting a 3-year-old boy and his sister then having to reconsider because of the child’s continuous, violently disruptive behavior.

That’s what Joan and Mike, an area family with two other adopted children and two biological kids faced when their son Justin’s outbursts became so severe and so regular that, after seven years, it threatened to tear the family apart.

Luckily, after Justin experienced three in-patient stays in a psychiatric hospital, the family enrolled in the Wraparound Milwaukee REACH program, and with intense care and teamwork, this story has a much happier ending.

When Maria Castillo, the care coordinator from SAL, started working with the family in April of 2009, Justin would go into extreme episodes that would last for hours. For no apparent reason, he would drop to the floor and flail his arms and legs, kick people, scream and break things. In a car he would strike his siblings, kick the windows and the back of the driver’s seat, often forcing Joan to pull over because of the safety risk.

“This family has a heart of gold,” Maria said. They learned about Justin and his sister from the second foster home in which the kids lived, next-door neighbors to the couple, where the foster mother said she could no longer handle him. Joan said she would take both children in. “This is what we’re meant to do,” Mike said. But the boy’s outbursts got so out of control that the strain on the family was almost unbearable.

REACH is a program that families voluntarily enter. It brings together community resources to keep families intact and avoid more costly and restrictive mental health interventions. Justin has pervasive developmental delay, a disorder on the autism spectrum, so a key component of his care plan was medication management as well as therapy services, crisis stabilization, and close coordination with his school.

“We had to figure out his triggers; that was the biggest question,” Maria said. “Was it a smell? A certain tone of voice? A time of day?”

The team, including the family, came to meeting after meeting, sharing ideas, what worked, what didn’t. “We needed to catch him before he went into a full-fledged episode,” Maria said. Close observation of Justin was critical.

The group tried many interventions that did not work: a stop sign to get him to slow down, encouraging him to write when he got upset, time-outs, a diet free of sugars and processed foods. What ultimately worked was extremely limiting the input that stimulates Justin.

For instance, his school bus had a harness-type seat belt, which really agitated him.  The team eliminated riding the school bus. A medication was hit upon that allowed Justin to function with clarity and was not sedating. Interaction with action figures was stopped because he would take on their persona and do things such as swing a broom around the house as a “sword,” hitting his siblings.

Further, his schedule was very structured, with limits on the numbers of things he could do in close proximity, with clear instructions for everything and rest built between activities.

Once the team determined how to recognize when Justin was going into an episode, they enlisted help from Joan’s nephew. The young man learned how to recognize facial expressions that signaled a crisis was about to occur and helped calm Justin down before he would go into a crisis. He also offered the family respite when the other children wanted to do things that would over-stimulate Justin.

Over time, Justin’s outbursts dramatically subsided, and now he can participate in activities outside the home, but in short, controlled sequence. He is still in a special day school, and his teachers can focus on learning rather than preventing him from acting out. He likes swimming and, after the team figured out that the mirrors in locker rooms and bathrooms set him off, he now changes at home and happily swims laps with other kids. He loves frozen custard and is able to travel safely in a car to get some.

“He is having conversations with his siblings, talking about normal things; he’s doing what kids do!” Maria said. “He continues to make improvements, at his own pace. He remembers his behavior, and he’s pretty proud of his achievements.”

Because of his progress, the family became confident in their ability to care for Justin and transitioned successfully through the disenrollment process last July. Justin will need some form of long-term support, Maria said, but “we probably saved him from being more traumatized by more in-patient stays and being pulled from his family. He now has a higher degree of connectedness and a lot of strong support.

“It was really a team approach, with a lot of trial and error,” Maria said. “We had a family and a team that never gave up … We tried a lot of things, and it was a lot of work.

“But he will have a much more successful, happier life. And it was well worth it.”

Trauma informed care speeds reunification

When 7-year-old Marie came to live with St. Aemilian-Lakeside foster parent Ruby Hamilton, she had been removed from an in-patient psychiatric hospital that concluded the child was defiant, non-cooperative and doing herself more harm than good. After a little more than three months with Ruby and a daily focus on trauma informed care, Marie was getting along much better with other children and adults, displayed much less anxiety and consequent acting out, and was able to move back home with her grandmother.

“That made me feel good,” Ruby said. “It made me feel like I accomplished something with her.”

Deb Buchanan, the occupational therapist who helped Ruby learn several rhythmic and repetitive activities that are key to trauma informed care by promoting calming and healing, was surprised – and thrilled – that the case moved so quickly.

“It’s very encouraging to know that a caregiver with the qualities of Ruby, matched with trauma informed care information, had such an impact on this girl and she was reunified so quickly,” Deb said. “That’s really fantastic.

“Ruby provides a sense of safety and acceptance, she is patient, and she has a calm demeanor.” All of these qualities contributed to the relationship-building that also is central to trauma informed care.

Ruby said she just kept encouraging and re-directing Marie, who had experienced abuse and neglect by her biological mother. And she worked every day with rhythmic and repetitive activities, some of which she already knew about through trauma informed care training she had received at St. Aemilian-Lakeside. The regimen included bean bag tossing, hula hoops, rope-jumping, running, and ball-playing as well as deep breathing.

“It really calms them down,” Ruby said. Rhythmic and repetitive activities work on the lower portion of the brain, which controls behavior in a child in the throes of anger or terror. Higher-brain functions such as reasoning and logic – “Why are you acting like this?” – are not even accessible when a traumatized child is experiencing stress and fear. For more information, click here.

Ruby also met with Marie’s grandmother and re-enforced the need for doing these activities regularly at home.

While living with Ruby, Marie spent half days in day treatment and half days in school. Ruby advocated for Marie at her school, telling them that rather than suspending her for perceived bad behavior they should try some of the things that would stabilize her. For instance, she told them to try to give Marie a quiet place and a coloring book, because the child colors to soothe herself when she is anxious and on the verge of a full-blown crisis.

Wraparound Milwaukee and the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare did safety planning with Marie’s grandmother to help her understand her granddaughter’s needs, and the woman also participated in therapy with Marie.

“Lots of kids in foster care have been traumatized,” Ruby said. “And this trauma informed care works. It’s a lot of work — you have to keep remembering and reminding the child – but it works!”

Humor, affection, ties with families help foster mom succeed

Being foster mother for youth who have serious life concerns can be a challenge, Sherrie Miller says. But she can’t seem to break the ties she forms with the kids she helps.

Sherrie, who works through St. Aemilian-Lakeside, has cared for several challenged girls in the seven years she’s been a treatment foster mom. And she maintains contact with almost all of them. Three have had babies, and she was there at their births. One didn’t have food one time and Sherrie collected food for the young woman. Her former foster kids call her for advice, such as how to fill out a tax form.

One former foster child, whose file initially made Sherrie think she would be really difficult, turned out to be one of the best placements she had. The young woman is now in nursing school, Sherrie proudly recounts.

“I teach them, ‘Don’t burn bridges; you never know when you’ll need someone,’ ” Sherrie said with a smile, talking about all the bridges she has maintained.

She now has two 16-year-old foster boys, along with her biological son, also 16. Her son “wasn’t crazy about the girls, but he’s getting along really well with the boys. They have fun together, rap together, do boys stuff.”

But things aren’t always smooth. As with any teens, these kids have their ups and downs. Sherrie handles the downs with affection and humor. For instance, one of the boys got suspended from school.

“Rather than screaming and fussing, I just gave him a big hug and said, ‘You must be having a bad day, and you love me so much you wanted to be home with me to clean up the attic.’ ”

One of the boys faked a seizure. “I just said that for every minute he’s unconscious, I’m deducting from his allowance. He woke up and recovered very quickly!”

Sherrie ensures that the foster boys maintain contact with their biological moms, who, for various reasons, can’t care for them. “I tell them (the moms), ‘There is nothing that can really replace a mother. That bond can’t be broken. Your being in their lives helps me, and it really helps them a lot.’ ”

It is unusual for a foster parent of seriously challenged kids to maintain ties to this degree, but the biological mothers really admire her parenting skills, Sherrie said, and they can see how happy their kids are.

There is a real need for foster parents, Sherrie said. She tells people who are interested, “You’ll be doing a great service if you open up your home … These kids need to be with a family … And this is giving back to the community, helping boys and girls who have no role models, become parents at a younger and younger age, often get involved in drugs or alcohol and suffer abuse,” she said.

And the rewards are great. “When I get a hug or a kiss or a compliment, that’s reward enough,” she said, adding that she’ll continue to foster kids in needs “as long as I can do it.”